Picking the scabs.

Well. I feel like I should probably be handwriting this entry in my own private journal. But what the hell?! Truthfully, I don't care who knows what about me.

Healing is a funny and deceiving thing. I'm just too anxious I suppose, jumping in head first without thinking thoroughly. Even your mind can play tricks on you though. Maybe that's the problem as Tolle said in his book "A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment," we all trust our minds too much. Sometimes I really wish I were an animal, no emotions, just survival.

I did mention I believe that I was going on a date this past Friday. It didn't end up working out. Little did I know someone was saying a prayer for me the night before that helped me realize what was right and wrong. An amazing sister she is! I have a feeling a lot of people pray for me, I can feel it. I appreciate all of the protection. I send it out your way too. :)

In some ways I feel like I've been set back. All of this pain resurfaced after this guy. I don't ever remember feeling pain like that after I met someone new. I guess that was my big RED flag. GOT IT! It just made me realize I wasn't ready and am not as healed as my mind thinks I am.

I'm too anxious to learn. Maybe that's why this situation happened? Well, what I got from it is I don't wanna date for a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time. ha, kidding! ...eh, kind of. ;)

Why do you guys pop up when I'm not ready, huh? Then again, I don't know if I'll ever be ready. Who's ever "ready?" Life just happens.

I do know I miss my old BFF. Terribly.

I'll be okay though... I have to be. Why the hell did I start reading Meyers' books? I just finished Eclipse. One more left and I'm totally in love with Edward's character, like every other girl in the world. siiiiiiiiiigh.

I had great dreams last night. I prayed to sleep peacefully before bed... I've been having some extremely intense dreams lately, feeling restless when I awake.


I want something sweet.........

Oh, let those wounds heal! I'm trying!